Rape of the Blushing Bride

Rape of the Blushing Bride

Frank Batchelor named his beautiful Serruria florida X barbigera (now phylicoides) hybrid: ‘BRIDESMAID’)

Rapturous with sweet allure
the ‘BLUSHING BRIDE’, aloof and pure.
Was gossip for permissive minds
Of proteas blessed with evil minds.

Monoecious need no double bed
Like other types of newly wed.
Sex motivations – a la Freud
In her make-up were null and void.

Though males of the other plants would plead
She spurned their obvious lecherous need.
No A1 leuco sperm came near
No leucadendron would she bear.

No pity would she show to Phylla
(The mere idea might even kill her).
His ardent advance appraised as spurious
Made protea SULabashed and PHURious.

So if such a BRIDE were never laid
How come her seeds produced a "MAID"?
A case for immaculate conception
Received unanimous rejection.

You can blame the bees or even the birds
But the judge summed up with these few words.
"Barbigera" must take the blame
for putting ‘BLUSHING BRIDE’ to shame.

But why condemn when compassion leans
To results that can justify the means?
With cynical sympathy, just say rather:
"It’s a clever child that knows its father".

H.L.D. Wood, 1979
(from https://www.proteaatlas.org.za/poems.htm)

Posted on August 24, 2021 08:57 AM by tonyrebelo